It's 5:00 somewhere...Who gives a shit?

My cell-phone alarm was ear-splitting as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. 7:00am on a Sunday isn't how I enjoy spending weekend mornings and I immediately fell asleep again. I woke up again at 7:30 because I new I had to be ready to leave in an hour. One of the members of my team at work was throwing a big barbecue party for a visiting member from our Shanghai office. I said that I would go, but that early on Sunday I awoke regretting my decision.

Another member of purchasing arrived at my dorm and took me to the place everyone was meeting. We all met at one of our warehouses and rode a bus to his house. At 9:30 am the bus took off and before I had my morning coffee I was taking pulls of nihonshu. Well not pulls, rather sips of the vile substance from a plastic cup. I have to say that I'm not a fan of Japanese sake; I'm willing to drink it if it's being served but I wouldn't buy a bottle of the stuff for myself-maybe I've only tried the bad stuff. Anyway, someone said that the ride would only be 20 minutes; however, four beers and that cup of sake later, we pulled over next to a pond so that myself and two others with weak bladders could pee. A teenager was fishing in the pond beside us and didn't think twice when three boisterous, obviously intoxicated men got off the bus and started draining their lizards at 10am. I have to give that kid props for keeping his cool. He's going to grow up to be a very good man. I know it. We stopped again 10 minutes later at a rest stop where I finished another beer and urinated outside because I couldn't figure out how to open the door of the men's room.

At around 11:30 I stumbled off the bus to find other members of my company at the barbecue, starting fires and hauling the food from the house and onto the grill. The day had started out great-I was drunk and soon to be fed piles upon piles of meat.

I figured we'd eat yakiniku and maybe a few other things, but I was very wrong. It seemed like every 10 minutes a new delicacy was being added to our feast-sashimi, oden, beef, and pork. Finally out came the venison-I found out my coworker is a hunter which made me respect him even more. I have a special place in my heart for gun touting Japanese men who live in the mountains and grow their own apples. That's right, he had about three apple trees and we all got to take our pick of fresh, ripe apples!

Back to the deer meat. I ate it raw, I ate it cooked, I ate whatever was put in front of me. I had forgotten that I liked venison so much! After the venison a plate was being passed around with a dark steamy plate of another beast. What was it this time? BEAR. No kidding, I ate bear. It was rather chewy and overcooked but the meat had an interesting flavor. I recommend trying it if you ever get the chance.

This entire time I was pounding the booze. Japanese sake, Chinese sake, Beer, Wine, Chu-hai, and anything else I could pour down my throat. The barbecue lasted until after we were out of food, but ended when we ran out of alcohol. When it became clear that there wasn't anymore, I got desperate and began searching the tables for unopened cans of beer and I found a can. I was very proud of myself and the other guests' eyes screamed envy at me. I laughed at them as I poured the brew down my throat.

For once I wasn't the only foreigner at one of these kinds of things-there were some Chinese people and some Thai people who spoke fluent Japanese. It was nice because people weren't constantly complementing my "arigatou's" and "hajimemashite's." One of the Thai girls was pretty cool and we ended up getting food with another one of her friends after the barbecue...more on that later.

I realized that I enjoy children a lot more when I've been drinking. This sounds horrible, but I feel after I loosen up I can earn their affection better than when I'm sober. I had a short conversation with a girl who was probably 12; it was probably her first time talking to a non-Asian but she didn't seem to care. She asked if she could shake my hand and I showed her how to shake hands with just enough squeeze. It was fun while it lasted; she left me after realizing that punching family members while they are drunk and passed out was more fun. I can't blame her and wish that my uncles would have been "that guy" at family Christmases. I'd probably have better relationships with them than I do today.

I fell asleep on the bus ride back and woke up in the parking lot with a hangover. It was 6pm. I got back to my dorm, drank some water and went back at it with my new found Thai friends. However, the place we went to deserves it's own separate post. To make a long story short we went to a new hip "English-fusion" cafe/bar. In reality it was a gaijin host club and I felt really awkward being there. All the waiters/bartenders eat and drink with the guests speaking English-they even played shuffleboard with us. They were nice enough but that's their job-to smile and nod and be friends with the all the guests. On the upside, they make stiff drinks and serve beer in large glasses. I may return for that reason alone...maybe the darts as well.

I was reminded this weekend of the joys of being totally hammed by noon and to sustain such a feeling until late in the evening. I may complain about life in Japan at times, but it is days like last Sunday that make me love this place. Coworkers, adults, and old men-acting like college students before a morning football game (only without the game of course).